And you don’t need all the answers.
It’s impossible to expect that you’ll make all of the very best decisions all of the time. You won’t.
Sometimes, our fear of getting too close to someone – or our fear of losing them – keeps us stuck, repeating old patterns of behavior that prevent us from feeling that anxious sense of vulnerability.
Then there are times when the yearning desire to intimately connect with another drops us to our knees – if only just for a moment of release and freedom. And you exhale.
It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you flawed or full of inner demons. It doesn’t mean you’re broken or damaged.
It means you’re human.
We all need to escape from our busy minds churning out endless whirring like a factory of redundancy … the same old self-talk, the same old stories we tell ourselves, haunting us over and over.
Or maybe, you need an escape to avoid asking yourself the hard questions.
The questions that cause you to seek the truth within yourself about what it is you need. Not want. Need.
The truth about what brings you joy. The truth about who you REALLY are right now. Today. The truth about what makes you feel alive, passionate, present, engaged … with yourself, with others, with the beauty of life.
It’s easier to comfortably create a life-on-auto-pilot. That way, there’s no risk of finding out whether what you really yearn for is possible or not. You can even (occasionally) convince yourself that you have everything you need. That everything is fine. Why rock the boat? This might be as good as it gets.
It takes courage and fierce audacity to live life on your terms – let alone figure out what your terms are!
And it takes trust to look yourself squarely in the mirror.
I know it’s hard. You’re afraid of what you’ll see. Will it be a reflection of a jaded path, worn and crumbling beneath your feet? Will it be that your greatest fears, the worst things you say about yourself, are true? That you’re tormented. That you cause pain. That you’re crushed. That you’re unworthy of love.
I promise you this: That is NOT what you will see.
When you look – really look – deeply in your eyes, all of the labels, roles, and fears simply fall away. What you’re left with is your true, deepest heart that shows up in this world as your unique version, your unique fingerprint, of Love.
When you get clear about what you believe, what you need to feel vibrant, what you need to feel a sense of freedom and truth and integrity, there’s no turning back. And you probably know this.
When you tell the truth, you cross the threshold of honesty, a land where if you continue to make compromises, you’ll be living a lie. A life where you knowingly deceive yourself. And that doesn’t feel good: because that is not who you’re meant to be.
You’re not meant to feel broken; you’re meant to feel broken OPEN, full of a free heart, wide and vulnerable as the sky.
You’re meant to sit on the edge of a mountain and breathe with ease as you take in the beauty of the sunset.
You’re meant to be gently held by the water as you cast the line of curiosity to see what your next catch in life will be.
You’re meant to feel the empty calm when you’re in the meadow, listening only to the birds call and the peace in your heart.
Maybe you’ll have to make difficult choices to create the kind of world that’s in alignment with who you are … without feeling ashamed, like you have to defend yourself, or like there’s something wrong with you.
Because, really … you’re OK. You just have to start listening to yourself.
That is where you will find your freedom. It is in this courage and truth that you’ll discover your strength. It’s where you will begin to trust in yourself to hunt through the unknown, without all the answers, and believe in who you are.
Meanwhile, as you harness the courage to stand upon the precipice and view the vast possibilities in your life, unsure of what’s to come … you don’t have to be perfect.
My friend, none of us are.